Jan Gogh

jangogh @ 2006-06-01T06:24:00

2006-06-14T13:27:27Z

no more livejournal.

my phone number is:

(916) 519 - 9346.

that is my cellular device. yes.'

i'm gonna be moving to roseville (i'll be keeping this number) in july.

goodbye, world.

jangogh @ 2006-04-29T11:37:00

2006-04-29T18:45:05Z

I recieved a letter notifying me that I have recieved a $1,000 scholarship. Frrfawrrwwwfaw!

Graduation is coming in four weeks and I'm slackin'. I wanna leave, man! I can't wait to spend the summer in my basement playing musical instruments and experimenting with countless art mediums. And in roseville! Ahhh away from here - and my artist counterpart will only be a few miles away. But I'm going to miss Danny. He can live in my closet.

Ahhh I wanna buy a beach cruiser. I wanna buy me some drums. I wanna buy a new camera and strategically place my face in a picture so that it makes me look better than I really do and post it all over the internet. Sike! Wow, what an expression.

Spray paint gon' make your boogers diff'ernt colors. Black boogers! Pink boogers! Rainbow boogers.

Graduation, Aaron Redding visitation, then Seattle. I guess Sasquatch isn't happening - which mmm I was upset about, but it doesn't really matter anymore.

I ditched my art class early so I can wonder about Folsom by myself and avoid filling up my gas tank with STUPID EXPENSIVE GASSSSS.

Ufnuh

jangogh @ 2006-04-22T12:08:00

2006-04-22T19:07:16Z

I'm feelin' alright, man! Yeahhhh!

Prom tonight. Ffffffawwwwwfmewoow.

jangogh @ 2006-04-17T13:09:00

2006-04-17T20:06:59Z

I am on my period and everyone is annoying.

Oh, and Will Smith (my car) is back - complete with a new pixies sticker.

jangogh @ 2006-04-04T13:06:00

2006-04-04T20:13:41Z

A lot of changes are going to happen soon.

I am just waiting for that final day of school: that same day I'll quit my job, that same week that I move into a new room, that same time that I am able to make new friends and discover new things in a new place. I'll have a lot more time to live, I think. Nothing really being devoted to avoiding math homework, tardies, absences, and scholarships.

And conveniently, I'll be in the same town as my new interest/mentor/favorite human. He's showing me a new world and it's all happening so fast that everything I want to take in is kind of jumbled. If we saw eachother more than once a week I'm not sure how I would even function correctly. I'm still trying to figure out why he even enjoys my company - because I feel like I am the one who is constantly learning.

Spring break is at the end of this week, and senior prom with Danny is next week.

Will Smith, if you haven't already heard, is....deceased. Since then, I've been with Danny during the majority of my days. So I'm almost (kind of) thankful that my car died on me. My dad is kind of slow, but I think I'll be getting a new car next week.

Fuck the rain in Northern California.

jangogh @ 2006-03-27T15:11:00

2006-03-27T23:17:27Z

Danny is sitting in a chair next to me that he won't stop spinning in.

I met someone. I really enjoy his company. But I feel kind of "Eeeeeee" about the whole situation. I think he's too old for me, and for the most part I just want to sit and listen to him - yet he still sticks around for some reason. I like the way he moves his hands when he talks, and the way he pronounces his o's.

The Squid and the Whale is fantastic.
And so is Moldy Peaches.
And so is the kid across this libarary with a teenage mustache.

Oh, and I walked to work today.

That's all.

jangogh @ 2006-03-15T18:45:00

2006-03-16T02:45:29Z

So do you ever say things or portray your feelings in certain ways and then you look back on it and you think, "Why did I say that. I could say it so much better now. I'm an idiot"? Or simply, "MMMMMMMMMMMMfcuckkkk" (while closing eyes)?

I do that with almost everything I do and say. In fact, after I write this, I'll probably read it again and say, "Mmmmmmmmmffaauuckkkkkk."

jangogh @ 2006-03-15T18:30:00

2006-03-16T02:41:11Z

Happy Birthday, Danny.
I'm on a computer at my college so that I could check my e-mail and things. Seriously, this building is huge and expensive-looking. I keep staring up at the ceilings. I think it's just because I go to an incredibly trashy school, and then I come here on Saturday mornings and the art room is fantastic: equipped with comfortable leather chairs and efficient art supplies.

I feel like a little girl here. It took me 20 minutes to figure out how to get an access card, and administrators kept looking at me like I was crazy.

"...I'm a high school student."
"Oh."

Today was like poop in the mouth.

I think the only good part was giving Danny the cake I made him and drawing this old man from a third world country holding a bottle of "Joy" American soap and sarcastically smiling.

I helped Dominic make a ring for his jewelry class while we made fun of the commercials on the radio. Then in creative writing, Dan, Matt Gerring, Devon and I ate Dan's cake. It was sunny out but it rained on his cake.

It snowed outside my house. What in the world? I live in Sac-er-a-mento.

I'm going to drive to dimple and buy CD's now to perhaps ease my pain.
Pain of what, you ask? I do not know.

B-b-b-b-big ol' balls.

jangogh @ 2006-03-13T12:08:00

2006-03-13T20:08:11Z

Okay, bye!

jangogh @ 2006-03-08T13:54:00

2006-03-08T21:57:26Z

To people who smoke cigarrettes for the sake of other people seeing that they smoke cigarrettes but then deny that they do this and say, "I hate it when people smoke cigarrettes to look cool":

Stop denying it, you buttholes. I want to stick cold change in your armpits. Smoke a q-tip.

jangogh @ 2006-03-01T12:51:00

2006-03-01T20:52:54Z

June 23 - June 29

jangogh @ 2006-02-24T13:04:00

2006-02-24T21:15:36Z

Is it so bad that I just don't like people in general?

Because I don't like people in general.

Even people I do like in general I really don't like sometimes.

People in general are just dissapointing. I think I'm dissapointing because I'm being dissapointed first. Seriously. I'm justifying my actions, here.

Maybe it's because people do unexpected things.

Blankets aren't people because you know what a blanket will do. It will lay on you. But you don't know what a person will do. A person will fart inside of your blanket while your sharing it, and you won't even see it coming. THAT'S why people are dissapointing.

People cough too. Stop coughing. Seriously. Just stop coughing. And stop sniffing your stuffed nose. I can hear your snot with low viscosity. I wish some hardened boogers would enhance your dripping nose so that I don't have to hear it while I'm taking my fucking history quiz. Sniff some dust or something. Harden those boogers. Either that or BLOW YOUR NOSE, ASSHOLE.

People have different tolerance levels, too. That's another reason why people are dissapointing. They don't meet your tolerance levels. Some people can tolerate metal. And those people are dissapointing to me. I would rather be around someone who can't tolerate metal. I would rather meet someone who can deal with me farting in their blanket, and who won't sniff their snot back into their nose because the sound of wet boogers annoys them.

OR, maybe I should learn to deal with different tolerance levels and deal with unexpected actions from human beings. That's why I suck. I can't be different. I'm just a normal human being that hates unexpected things (that I don't like) and hates tolerating things (that I don't like).

But hey, let's try. LET'S TRY.

jangogh @ 2006-02-15T13:29:00

2006-02-15T21:24:45Z

Fuck the Olympics. The only thing they're good for is for narraration and making cultural accusations, thinking they are funny.

(i.e. the narraration of the routine of a Russian male figure skater in a Russian accent.)

jangogh @ 2006-01-31T13:25:00

2006-01-31T21:23:44Z

3 days. mfffmfmfmffffffffffffffmontttreal.
Hi, Luke!

yeahh yeahhhhhh anah has no life nowwww. Work, work, work!

Old people in a cemetery

2006-01-25T21:20:16Z

February 3rd.

jangogh @ 2006-01-23T18:40:00

2006-01-24T02:45:32Z

I've never been so busy or drained in my entire life.
I don't even have time to sleep anymore. I have three "drawing" contests on my plate as well as a huge fucking mural that I'm doing for free. It's so big that it's fucking.
And my job! Fuck! FFFFfffuuuucckkkkfffuck! Fuck fuck ufkfkuckufukck!
It feels like everyone has it easier than I do. I can't spend my money because I don't know how, and I'm too afraid to.
But I got's to keep my chin up.
And I got's to keep drinkin' that soy milks.

jangogh @ 2006-01-22T14:50:00

2006-01-22T22:51:42Z

I hate my job. I really do. I can't wait to quit.

...and move to Hawaii

OH, YES - there's some news for you.

I'm going to live there for "a while".

mmm..peace, poopheads. It's Stevie time.

jangogh @ 2006-01-09T12:10:00

2006-01-09T20:10:34Z

Let's try this again.

P.S. I shaved my legs last night.

jangogh @ 2006-01-06T13:09:00

2006-01-06T21:12:29Z

Liiiiiife. Let's write about life.

Let's write about potatoes.
Shoes. Fingernails. Mmmilkshaaakkesss.

Whatever. It all sounds the same to me right now.

It's not that fingernails are compared to life,
but I'm starting to feel like Descartes...
Taking everything in the palm of my hand and molding them into one.
Things are things.

The most important "things" to me are my world of art, culture and life questions that I create for myself.
But things are things, aren't they?

People disgust me every day. People are gross. I don't really like people in general, but if you pick them apart like a sandwich with the wrong ingredients you can find some good. Like ham.

Life is continuing to flow. There is just as equal good as there is bad. Or at least I like to repress the bad and highly exaggerate the good. The good things. The bad things.

But things are things.

Wow. That was the most unromantic thing I've ever written. Where is my trophy?

jangogh @ 2006-01-01T16:46:00

2006-01-02T00:48:26Z

Soooooo...

Uhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm....

Life without a computer. HAaaaa!

9165199346.

jangogh @ 2005-12-28T11:27:00

2005-12-28T19:41:21Z

I don't have a computer right now.
It's actually very liberating.

My grandpa died on Christmas Eve, and it was one of those things where I just said "oh", and it didn't hit me until two days later, and I woke up at 7 in the morning only to stare at the ceiling for hours. My grandpa is gone. I desperately wanted to talk to someone, but I had no one to call.

So I actually woke up around 11 and began getting ready - convincing myself I'd leave the house since it had been three or four days since I saw daylight. But everyone was busy busy that day and no one wanted to call me back. So I played guitar and read about half a book - until about 9:30, when I called Solomon.

I met up with Sol at the Hookah bar. I don't know how to play any card games so I just stared at the strange paintings on the walls and people who looked at me looked where I was looking to find out what was so fascinating. The only enjoyable part of that trip was listening to music on the way there and back.

On the way home I called Josh and dropped off his birthday presents. He smelled like Josh. "You smell like...uhhhmmm.." That was the only nice part of my day, and I was wondering if it was just me being lonely, because usually I'm not so excited to see someone. I would have rather much driven to Seattle to drop off a birthday present, but that is only something to dream about.

I didn't really much care for Christmas. But I recieved a wonderful scarf, and 50 blank CDs which, since I don't have the internet, have turned into 15 blank CDs. Now I spend my days playing and listening to music, and reading books. It's a good thing. I just wish I wasn't alone in my room all the time.

I'm at Stevie's right now. And I want food in my stomach.

Grandpa's memorial service is on Friday.

....

jangogh @ 2005-12-16T20:40:00

2005-12-16T04:49:52Z

Just now I realized that I don't remember the last time that I was happy due to good things happening around me and inside of myself.

The closest I have been is when I am feeling kind of like evenly balanced water. (Contentment)
Aka knowing that things are okay, that are going to be okay, and my life isn't bad at all.

Never:
"I am so happy because...
"Life is good!"
"I am in love!"
"___ is going so well!"

Okay...

maybe I feel this way after listening to Gorillaz.
...or that quesadilla I had for lunch yesterday. lmao.

I'm not saying that I'm unhappy.
It's more like realizing you have only the bare minimum of 15 pieces of flare instead of the 37 that Bill has.

But how the fuck do I get more pieces of flare? Hahahaha. >.< \

jangogh @ 2005-12-15T19:04:00

2005-12-16T03:05:29Z

No, it doesn't say "knews".

Bad camera qual-it-ee.

jangogh @ 2005-12-06T13:42:00

2005-12-06T21:42:45Z

jangogh @ 2005-12-02T07:30:00

2005-12-02T15:31:38Z

No more journal.